SO POMO

Any pretentious humanities student worth their salt will tell you that we live in a ‘postmodern age’. It’s a time characterised by mass media, simulacra, deconstruction, hyperreality, destabilising notions of truth and other such bullshit stock phrases. If you didn’t know this then you a) didn’t take your critical theory module seriously enough and b) are so stuck in modernity. You poor, obvious, realist thing.

But don’t get too down – help is at hand. We’re here to release you from the shackles of your modernist rut and join the postmodern craze! Our helpful guide below outlines some of the ways you can act, speak and experience the postmodern on campus so you too can understand that the whole world, really, is just, like, “SO POMO”.


  • Only use the gender neutral toilets near Costa…
    because we all know that gender and – for the hardcore pomos amongst you – sex are not biologically fixed. Oh-no. Such arbitrary definitions are merely socially constructed binaries into which we are interpolated and coerced upon entrance into this restrictive, limiting world.
  • Only write in the margins of lined paper…
    because you want to give a voice to the oppressed minorities and micronarratives that have been relegated to the borders of a hetronormative society intent on crushing anyone and anything that deviates from a historically conditioned ‘norm’.
  • Only walk up the left or right-hand side of Forum Hill…
    because you want to decenter middle-of-the-road metanarratives.
  • Become a Judith Butler-quoting drag queen…
    because the best way to draw attention to the performative structure of gender is to show that gender is a kind of imitation for which there is no original.
  • Ensure everything you say is impossible to decipher…
    because plain language is far too realist and obvious. Employ play, parody, obscure verbs and adjectives, suffixes, prefixes, hyphens and slashes until you’ve twisted a comprehensible sentence into an inextricable web of -isms and -ities. Oh, and include as many theoretical perspectives as you can.
    Example: an innocuous sentence like “contemporary buildings are alienating” is reconfigured by the pomo to become “Pre/post/spacialities of counter-architectural hyper-contemporaneity (re)commits us to an ambivalent recurrentiality of antisociality/seductivity, one enunciated in a de/gendered-Foucauldrian discourse of granulated subjectivity”.
  • Only take pictures of printed disposable photographs…
    to highlight how reality is really just a series of images repeated over and over again for which there is no original referent. After all, “we live in a world where there is more and more information, and less and less meaning” (Baudrillard).
  • Always quote Baudrillard.
  • Hold and extol strong opinions on matters even though you believe the exact opposite of what you’re saying…
    because irony is your currency in a world where all efforts towards sincerity have been emptied out and parodied. (Note: carry out this principle with 100% commitment when attending seminar dissuasion that exclusively focus on postmodernism).
  • Be vehemently apolitical…
    because Stalinist totalitarianism and liberal democracies are just tyrannical doctrines and are, therefore, exactly the same thing: meaningless.
  • Always tell the most extravagant and exaggerated lies…
    because there’s no such thing as truth, right?
  • Never ever tell anyone your name. In fact, forget you even had a name…
    because individuality is an ideological myth employed to subjugate you in a corrupt, unjust system.
  • Break any or all of the rules as much as possible…
    because even this guide is a metanarrative – and all metanarratives deserve, of course, to be ripped apart. In fact, postmodernism itself is an oppressive metanarrative. C’mon, get with it: it’s time for post-postmodernism!