When Jeremih released Late Nights in 2012, it confirmed something I’d suspected for the longest time; the ‘B’ in R&B stood for Boner. So grab your boo close this Valentine’s and stick on this playlist, because slow dancing is nice, but grinding is way better.

N.b. Some of the tracks on here aren’t R&B in the strictest sense. Whatever. The heart wants what it wants. Also, the Beyoncé track is a substitution, because her perviest song isn’t on youtube. I figured a four minute long allusion to Jay Z’s dick would do.

  1.  Snoop Dogg – Fresh Pair of Panties On
  2.  R Kelly – Bump N’ Grind
  3.  D’Angelo – Untitled (How Does It Feel)
  4.  Next – Too Close
  5.  112 – Peaches and Cream
  6.  Aaliyah – One In A Million
  7.  Drake – Practice
  8.  Ciara – Body Party
  9.  Tweet – Oops
  10.  Kelly Rowland – Motivation
  11.  Aquarius Heaven – Universe
  12.  Beyonce – Partition
  13.  Jeremih – Fuck U All the Time
  14.  David Banner – Play
  15.  Rihanna – Pour It Up
  16.  Khia – My Neck My Back
  17.  Plies  – Fuck The Shit Out You
  18.  Ginuwine – My Pony
  19.  Lady – Pussy
  20.  N.E.R.D. – Hypnotize U
  21.  Trina feat. Killer Mike – Look Back At Me
  22.  Akinyele – Put It In Your Mouth
  23.  R Kelly – Echo

And, because everyone knows that guys are the worst, if you suspect yours has been running around on you, Riskay has some foolproof advice.