Societies: Thatcher hates them; university students love ‘em. Ahead of the Freshers’ Fair, we’ve trawled through a never-ending list of the bloody things and cherry-picked the very best so you don’t have to. Thank us later.

E L James Society

You develop in many ways at university: you learn a student loan means it’s time for a shopping spree, and that watching TV endlessly doesn’t actually give you square eyes. You may also develop sexually after leaving behind that sterile, vanilla sex you endured with your boyfriend since Year 10. It’s an exciting new time. But this moment of sexual liberation can bring with it feelings of anxiety and confusion. E L James Society, named after the living literary legend, allows curious students to experiment, explore and act out their fantasies with other willing members in a no-strings-attached setting. New members also receive a free starter pack that includes handcuffs, nipple tassels, feather duster, spanking paddle and latex mask. Go wild!

Deep House Society

“Have you heard Duke Dumount’s new deep house track? It’s sick, bruv!”

If you can see yourself uttering such a misinformed, flippant comment (and enjoy pissing off music snobs in the process) then you may have found your new home at Deep House Society. Here, every track with a floaty melody and high-pitched pop vocal samples underscored with warm garage bass notes qualifies as “deep house”. You do not have to have knowledge of or even enjoy the music; instead, if wearing Air Max’s, listening to YouTube music channels with a penchant for emblazoning their logo over a scantily clad females and ensuring you have a cool black and white photo for your Facebook profile are your thang, then this society is tailor made for you.

Independent Magazine Society

Are you disillusioned with the same boring mainstream publications laboriously churning out the same boring mainstream content? Do you find your creative genius just doesn’t have the outlet it needs to dazzle the student body? Are you, like us, pretentious and affected? If so, then Indy Mag Soc might be the place to find similarly disenchanted media melancholists and start your own independent magazine. Your new publication will provide the perfect platform to voice your adolescent angst, A-Level understating of philosophy and ‘illustrations’. See it as your new introspective Tumblr account – but read by a total of seven people instead of three.

Second Home Society

Do you ever wish you could swap your ski chalet in Verbier for a week’s stay on a St-Tropez superyacht? Or would you trade your holiday home in Salcombe for a long weekend’s shooting trip up in the Scottish Highlands? Well, now you can if you sign up to Second Home Society! This is a unique networking opportunity for people all over Exeter to organise short-break second home “swaps” and become immersed in a new cultural experience. It’s time to pack that suitcase…

Elocution Society

Learn your “ah’s” from your “rah’s” with Exetah’s Elocution Society. You will defo need to be well versed in Home Counties/Kensington lingo if you want to have an amazeballs time and literally sound the part. The elocution Exeperts are on hand to help you elongate those “o’s”, mix up your vowel sounds (Spencer = Spencah) and perfect the amounts of times “literally” must feature in a single sentence. It’s totes jokes. Obvs.

Existential Society

The meaninglessness of existence can sometimes get too much in a world in which the individual is alienated from society and nature. Awareness of the nothingness at the heart of our existence can produce hopeless anguish. After all, existence is inexplicable and absurd. If this somewhat depressing line of thought chimes a chord with your hollow soul, then perhaps the best place for you is at Existential Society, where members suffer daily existential crises, muse on Sartre and invariably end up talking each other out of suicide.

Bubble Wrap Society

There are few things in life more satisfying than popping bubble wrap. Share your passion for this simple pleasure with other like-minded enthusiasts. Socials involve popping bubble wrap and very little else.